⚠️Trigger warning – ‘My Weight Loss Journey’ contains themes of bad mental health, B.E.D, and weight loss⚠️
I’ve mentioned it a lot throughout my blog, and while I don’t want this space to revolve solely around weight loss or fitness, sharing my story still feels important.
It’s shaped so much of who I became throughout university, and it’s a big part of how I’m stepping into life after graduation now.
Growing up, I was always the “big-boned” child. The “don’t worry, you’ll lose your baby fat as you grow taller” kid. I was the one with cute, chubby cheeks and a soft, cuddly frame – and at that age, you don’t question it.
It was just who I was.
Looking back, though, I think a part of me always struggled with how I looked as I got older. I noticed how I stood out next to my family. How uncomfortable I felt in certain clothes. How easily I turned to food and how little control I felt I had over it. I didn’t feel ‘cute’ – I just couldn’t put my finger on how it did feel…
But when you’re young, you brush it off — you don’t really deep these things. Eating as many sweets and chocolates as possible feels far more important than worrying about your body. Until, suddenly, it doesn’t.
And I remember exactly when that shift happened for me.
Starting sixth form, post-COVID, it hit me: I was overweight — and for the first time, I really saw it.
I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I felt big and ugly, and – ironically – kept turning to sweet treats for comfort, even though they were making me feel worse.
There are actually photos of me from this time at prom that, even now, make my stomach twist.
I’d look at my beautiful mum, my athletic dad, my fitness-fanatic brother, my friends with their boyfriends, and I just felt… worthless.
I hid everything. I buried how I felt under jokes, oversized clothes, and a smile that never quite reached my eyes. I never wanted anyone to see how low I really was, but the darkness was there, and it was growing.
When I started university, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
I was so unhappy that I slipped into a pretty severe binge-eating cycle as a coping mechanism. My anxiety skyrocketed, and I felt incredibly lonely. Everything became heavy – literally and emotionally – and eventually, I hit the ground. Something had to change.
That’s when I found the gym.
My university accommodation included a free membership at the campus gym, so I decided to try it. I didn’t lose much weight in first year — my eating habits hadn’t quite caught up yet — but I noticed something else: movement actually helped my mind. My anxiety eased, my head felt clearer, and for the first time in years, I felt a little more in control, and maybe even started to see my own worth.
It wasn’t until second year that things really shifted though. Thanks to TikTok and other social media, I heard about the infamous “calorie deficit” and decided to give it a try.
I started eating better, going to the gym consistently, and even began running — something I never imagined myself doing. I went to parkrun as much as possible in second year – thanks to it only being a five-minute walk from our house – and my first ‘Woodhouse Moor’ time was around 40 minutes. But I did it!
I also followed online workout videos and trained at my local PureGym four to five days a week, and I started to love it! Yes, it was hard, but I was doing it for me.
Little by little, I was changing — not just physically, but mentally too.
As I settled into this new lifestyle, I started weighing myself to track my tangible progress as well.
This is something I’ve never really told anyone before, but I began at 80kg – yes, you read that right – and it scared the sh*t out of me.
I set an initial goal of reaching 70kg, and honestly… it was tough. I was hungry, I was tired, I was mardy, and struggled to stay motivated. But I kept going — and I blummin did it!
By the end of second year, I had reached my goal weight, and can confirm that the feeling was like no other. My parkrun time had dropped by a whole ten minutes (!), I felt more confident than I had in years, and for the first time, I actually felt strong and healthy.
So, what next? What more could I achieve?
After reaching that first milestone, I knew I wasn’t done. I wanted to push myself even further. I completely cut out biscuits – one of my biggest triggers for binge eating – and set a new goal: 65kg.
I started running longer distances, completing a Winter Warmer 10K race with my Mum, and I kept learning more, and growing stronger in the gym. Somewhere along the way, I genuinely fell in love with fitness, healthy eating, and the lifestyle that came with it. I turned my whole life around.
And now? I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I feel lighter – in every sense of the word – and proud of how far I’ve come.
So proud, in fact, that I even have a marathon lined up for next year!
I left home for university as an anxious, large, and low girl who was unsure of what the future held, and am now confident that I have come back as a happier, healthier woman – who is unbelievably proud of everything she has achieved.
I am definitely starting adulthood as a person that young Amber would be very happy with.
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